As I finish my dissertation I noticed my need to hold onto ideas and words. I take notes like a mad woman, I save documents in my computer of a couple thoughts I may have had. I won't delete anything, just cut and paste "stuff" into another document that I will probably never open again (because it is crap)--but nonetheless it will be saved, because you never know one day it's crap and the next day it's genius, right?
I noticed this habit also presents itself in my daily life. I buy more boards and concrete and add another shelf to my bookshelf before I would consider getting rid of some books. I save every plastic container that cannot be recycled in hopes of finding a use for it someday. I won't get rid of that one dress just in case I happen to need it for an occassion--or my body frame happens to suddenly turn Barbie. I will save an uninspiring piece of jewelry with the intent to make it into something beautiful one day.
As a result of all of this saving and hoarding I am left with an apartment that is quite cluttered and a feeling of stuckness and "unfinished business". This observation brings me to the point, when we surround ourselves with all of these things and ideas that do not quite fit we inhibit ourselves from thinking in new ways, being creative and simply noticing.
In our culture, we are so attached and unable to let go that we do not have a hand truly available to even begin to grasp what might be very important to us. Do you truly love every book on your bookshelf? What is more important a large library with books that you don't care about or a small library filled with all of your favorites? Why do you feel it's necessary to hold on? Maybe it's not books for you, what is it that you grasp? What are you too attached to? This is a question I am asking myself.
Without this discernment process there is literally no room for us to recognize our dreams or our best interests, because we are holding onto countless things, relationships, ideas that keep us occupied and controlled. At least, this is my current reality, as I approach graduation and try to decide where I will spend the majority of my efforts in the next few years. I have never been a fan of choosing, but now more than ever I am recognizing its importance.
Today Shaun McNiff reminded me that deleting and getting rid of things or eliminating is a good way to make room for reflection on the things that matter to us most. He says it much better than I can so I will close by sharing an excerpt from his book, Trust the process: An artist's guide to letting go, one of those works that would definitely be on my small bookshelf of favorites.
While he writes strictly in relation to artistic endeavors, art is the form of life so to me his words also provide good life reflection that help us think about our lives and what is essential to our well-being.
Here goes:
"Elimination is essential to concentration. When you can't find a way through a situation, it might be better to reflect on what is already presenting itself. As you choose what to omit, you indirectly select what to keep.
There can be a tremendous pleasure attached to deleting and throwing out materials that obstruct the flow of what you are trying to express. We tend to hang onto bothersome things, trying to make them fit into our lives like parts of a painting or a story that just don't belong. Keeping these things obscures the essential message we are trying to convey. Moving along can be as simple as designating the unworkable sections and hitting the delete button on your keyboard...
Getting to the core involves a realization that we are in a process that is much bigger than ourselves and that all we can do is make contributions and connections between things, one day at a time, one instant to the next. Trying too hard to find the essence tends to keep us on the periphery. The most vital expressions emerge when we are most relaxed, when we simply immerse ourselves in the immediate environment and trust that something significant will appear...
I approach the making of deletions with the realization that they are a necessity. I cannot get to the core unless I eliminate the clutter and distractions that obstruct concentration on the essential message. There are phases in the making of a painting or the writing of a book that resemble clearing out the barn, the attic, or a cluttered closet in order to gain a renewed sense of spaciousness, and a better use of the environment...
The forward moving process of expression requires deletion...
In the artistic process and in daily life, it is always challenging to eliminate and let go. Today's foreground becomes tomorrow's background...
Whenever we abstract an essence from a life situation or perception we simplify, select, and delete...
Look at your surrounding environment with the goal of abstracting essential elements" (McNiff, 1998, p. 104-107).
* Where can you learn to let go in your life?
* What is holding you back that you can simply delete in order to move forward?
* Can you let go, but then buy something new to replace it right away? Some of us get rid of stuff too much because we have too much. If this might be you, you might want to check out The Story of Stuff, and challenge yourself to ask what you really need and take a personal inventory of your stuff to see what you already have.
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