Sunday, November 29, 2009

November...where did you go?

November marked a month of many emotions in my life. I don't even know where to begin... I suppose I can start with some of the lower points as I believe these moments will hopefully lend themselves as serious places for growth and for great learning. First, there was a mini-car accident I was part of, which began on Friday the 13th after a delightful time with my friend, Ashley and her beloved, Brent, who was visiting from out of town. Nothing serious really happened, but now after considering the events that followed shortly after this wake-up call, I believe that this accident was a significant moment that has inspired much reflection for me. Thereafter, I found out about the death of my little's father, which to this day still remains clouded. I understand some points of it but really still struggle to understand the whole situation. I was supposed to attend the funeral but did not know where it was happening. I have called my little several times now, and have not heard anything from her or her mother. I worry she may have to move away, and I worry about her in general. To top it all off, there was a hit-and-run, which left my friend alive, thank God, but with much suffering and pain. I hope in this time of healing he can make the best of the situation and find the support he needs from himself and his loved ones.

While not all my own struggles, I tend to be deeply affected by the sorrow of others especially those close to me, so I have been a little off these days thinking about how the lives of my friends or any person can so quickly change. And life is quickly changing every second. I try not to frame my world perspective this way because it will stress me out! :)

On the other end of the spectrum, this month marked so many exciting events which I must give great thanks for to everyone in my life. For instance, my registration for new classes in school, one of which will be a meditation course that I am stoked about. This month also included a friend's bachelorette party and some other girly social events and good talks. I have truly appreciated friendship this month as during those reflective times I was fortunate to see some genuine relationships shine through in my life. This month also included more walking and biking for me as well as more cooking with whole foods and organic products. After doing my Ecology and Health research project on corn and its health effects and impact on the environment, as well as listening to my classmate's interesting presentations I learned even more ways I can be mindful in my life. I also made my own eco-friendly, all purpose household cleaner, and have been slowly incorporating new items like these into my daily life. And most recently I have just celebrated my favorite holiday of the year, Thanksgiving, with friends and family, as well as attended guest speakers from my culture as a resource in health and healing course, which retaught me about the real history of thanksgiving--the one including the tragic history of a people displaced from their home land, livelihoods, and culture. I pay tribute to them in my thoughts and prayers. Along the lines of speakers, this month I was also fortunate to have off work and was able to attend Dan Buettner's lecture on his new book The Blue Zones. I gave my free copy to my father to read in the mean-time...really interesting stuff that I will have to post in a later blog. I also should mention I have new travel plans in thought--just signed up for a study at my school that may bring me to India in January of 2011. We will see if that pans out. Also, Jay and I have a trip in mind for the summer that will bring us to Montana, and there is talk of going to Alaska with some of the role model women in my life (as well as Jay if we let him in, it is all still up in the air). If any of these trips can materialize I would be the luckiest person in the world. Beyond that exciting news, in a recent chat with my older sister, Yu-kyeong, I learned that my oldest sister, Yu-jin, and her new love in Korea, a photographer, plan to wed this May of 2010. Whether or not I will go there has not been decided, as any trip to Korea is a loaded experience for me. So all of these mentioned developments leave my head spinning with joy and more mixed emotions.

After this month of great ups and downs, for the first time in my life, I have truly began practicing the art of letting go, and as December draws near, I look forward to making more time and space for healthy habits such as this one.

Which leaves me with a mantra I have been thinking about a lot lately that helps me through the challenges of my program:

You cannot get to freedom on Pharaoh's chariot.

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